


Yuetsu Misc

by magumarashi



Category: Fate/Zero
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Priests, horrible misuse of a confessional, horrible misuse of religious language, more specifically priests having sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:37:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magumarashi/pseuds/magumarashi
Summary: A series of shorts about two roommates who are awful to everyone and each other





	1. A story of two awful roommates

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to compile a bunch of my kotogil writings into one convenient place. These were originally posted on my writing wordpress in 2013, and all generally take place in the same timeline.
> 
> I guess this is a sort of AU?? sorta?? imagining their lives after Fate/Zero ends. Kirei works as a priest, Gil somehow got a job as a male model. There's no actual sex in these because I wrote them when I was too chicken to write actual sex, but I did tag them as "mature" for uh, sexual themes

Kirei supposed he should just stop assuming that Gilgamesh could do anything right, much less buy groceries for the week.

But now here they were at seven PM on a Sunday with an empty fridge and mostly-bare pantry. Kirei had a stock of instant ramen, which he supposed would do for himself, but what of Gilgamesh? One whiff of instant ramen and the king of heroes had proclaimed it unfit for his “royal tastes”. He’d refused to even try such “mongrel swill” on the grounds that it came from a styrofoam cup.

“Serve it to me in a solid gold goblet and we’ll talk,” he’d said, flipping through a fashion magazine.

Kirei stared at the fridge’s empty shelves. Neither of them was truly “alive”, but their bodies still craved food and water. He’d told Gilgamesh to buy the groceries earlier that morning, on his way to church for mass–he had his own small flock in the corner of Tokyo where the shared an apartment, and his duties kept him busy for most of the day. Gilgamesh had waved him off airily, yes, sure, whatever, the home shopping channel is on today, go away Kirei. Kirei wasn’t entirely sure why he’d expected Gilgamesh to do what he’d asked. In any case, it was an amateur mistake, and he’d never make it again.

“Where even _is_ he…?” Kirei wondered aloud. They had no real means of staying in touch; cell phones were expensive, and they had enough trouble with rent as it was. Now that Gilgamesh was, for better or for worse, mortal, they had no way of accessing the vast riches he’d had as a king. A pair of cell phones and a monthly plan would have practically cost chump change before.

“I hope he’s not out using the grocery money to buy wine again…” Kirei opened the wine cabinet and frowned, “Though I suppose we are out of that.”

He’d have to find a childproof lock to keep Gilgamesh from emptying the wine cabinet every week.

“High-maintenance prick…”

The lock clicked, and the door swung open. Gilgamesh practically strode in, a paper bag in one arm and a leather coat draped over the other.

“I hope those are at least some of the groceries I asked you to buy,” said Kirei with a sigh.

“Hm?” said Gilgamesh, setting down the bag and lifting a pair of huge designer sunglasses from his eyes, “Of course not, mongrel. This is _wine_. We’re out.”

“Noticed. Please, _please_ tell me you didn’t spend all the money on wine…”

“No,” said Gilgamesh, “But I expect you to use the change to buy us a decent meal. More importantly, to buy _me_ a decent meal. I don’t care what you eat. You can eat dirt for all I care, or that ‘ramen’ swill we seem to have a lot of.”

Kirei sighed.

“If you didn’t use your paycheck on clothes and hookers, we might be able to afford–!”

“Excuse me!” said Gilgamesh, “I don’t judge you on what _you_ use your paycheck for!”

“I don’t spend _my entire paycheck_ on luxuries!” snapped Kirei, “Why do you think we live in this one-room shithole?”

“Two rooms,” Gilgamesh corrected him, “And a bathroom, if you could call it that. Someone shoved a toilet into a closet and called it a bathroom. You should at least feel lucky that we don’t have to have sex in the middle of the kitchen–”

“Which reminds me, I forgot to put condoms on the grocery list,” sighed Kirei.

“Oh, we’re out? Thank god,” Gil stuck his tongue out, “They’re obnoxious as hell. The king of heroes fights best with his sword… _unsheathed_ , if your thick head catches my meaning.”

“I’d rather not catch something from you,” said Kirei, “Normally I wouldn’t worry about it, but the amount you sleep around is–!”

“Again with the _judgement_!” said Gilgamesh haughtily, “Fine! Buy as many damn condoms as you want, but you’re not using a penny of my hard-earned money!”

Kirei scoffed.

“All you do is sit around and pose for pictures…” he said grumpily, “I’d hardly call that working hard.”

“If you must know, being a model is hard work,” said Gilgamesh, “Do you have any idea how busy my schedule is? Photoshoot this, ad campaign that… Part of the reason I’m never _around_ anymore is because they’re working me to the bone here!”

“Sounds like the worst job for someone who’s never worked a day in his life before now.”

“I _beg_ your pardon!” Gilgamesh said, appalled, “It’s the perfect job for a king! The whole world will know of my perfect body and irresistible allure! Women will pile at my feet to sleep with me, men will want to _be_ me! Or get in bed with me. Or both. Both is good. And it pays out the ass, so why are you complaining?”

“ _Because you use all of it on entertainment instead of pitching in with rent!”_ roared Kirei.

“Oh, cry me a river!” said Gilgamesh, “Kirei, I’m hungry! Run to the store and fetch me a decent meal. Or even better! Get the ingredients, then cook one for me yourself! Meals taste better when they’re salted with tears of suffering.”

Kirei balled his fists, but decided to give in this time. Gilgamesh held out some wadded-up bills, which Kirei snatched from him before storming out the door. He looked at the crumpled bills as he walked down the stairs, not even caring that he’d forgotten his keys; enough shouting and Gilgamesh would probably make someone let him in.

_I’ll get him back for this._

_I’ll get him back for this tonight._

_I’m going to have him on the cold tatami floor until he–_

Kirei shook the impure thoughts from his head. It wasn’t that he felt it was his duty as a priest to be pure; on the contrary, he was probably the least “pure” person he knew, besides Gilgamesh. It was just that he didn’t want to walk into the convenience store with an angry boner.


	2. Another story of awful roommates

He could have sworn he’d left the rosary on his bedside table, but perhaps he’d imagined it.

Kirei poked around the apartment irritably, looking for the gold rosary he usually wore around his neck. He knew it couldn’t have gone far–he’d had it off in the shower, so he must have put it down somewhere near there beforehand.

He came into the main room, where his blond roommate was reading a magazine at the kitchen counter.

“Gilgamesh, have you seen my–?”

A glint of gold caught his eye. Gilgamesh held up a hand nonchalantly, Kirei’s rosary dangling from it.

“Ah, you found it. Thank you.”

Kirei held out a hand, but Gilgamesh withdrew.

“Please give that back.”

“Why? Technically it’s not yours,” said Gilgamesh. He eyed the rosary in his hand, “Gold is treasure, and all the world’s treasures originated from _my_ collection. So it’s mine.”

Kirei did not want to play this game right now.

“Give it here.”

He thrust a hand out to grab it, but Gilgamesh simply danced out of the way, the rosary swinging just out of the priest’s reach.

“I can make you give that back to me,” Kirei growled. He kept his cross knives in a drawer in the kitchen, he could probably touch the knob from here…

Gilgamesh, however, misread his threat entirely. His eyebrows jumped up in mild surprise.

“Is that _so?_ ” he said, “I’ll admit you’ve piqued my interest, but you won’t be getting this back. Not unless you can pry it from my comatose fingers after you’ve fucked me senseless on the floor.”

Gilgamesh smiled coyly, but Kirei was uninterested.

_Is that what this is about?_

“We’ll ruin the tatami,” he said, not even a hint of arousal in his manner, “It’s expensive to replace, and I don’t want to empty our savings again trying to pay the landlord back. You remember the mess we made last time…”

“Oooh, let’s ruin it again!” said Gilgamesh, “Let’s get it dirty! _Filthy_ , Kirei, I want this floor as filthy as can be!”

“No,” said Kirei sternly, in spite of the slight stir he felt within, “Unless you’re willing to pay for repairs this time.”

Gilgamesh pouted.

“I want you to fuck me,” he said plainly, “Or do you care so little about your precious trinket?”

Kirei thought for a while. He wasn’t really in the mood for Gilgamesh’s games, but it was hard to ignore the arousal bubbling up inside him. More than that, he wondered why the other thought manipulation was needed in order to bend Kirei to his whims. Kirei thought little of sexual pleasure; most of the time it was inferior to the joy he felt at causing others’ suffering. Sex was pleasurable, yes, but it did not quite make him feel _alive_. If the King of Heroes had wanted a passionate fuck on the floor, he could have just asked, and Kirei probably would have obliged. And if he’d _really_ wanted Kirei’s attention, he could have stretched out on the tatami to wait for him, nude save for the priest’s gold cross dangling around his neck…

“Such… acts are a tall price,” Kirei said finally, “I wouldn’t want to sell you short.”

“Wow, you’re suddenly serious about this?” Gilgamesh laughed heartily, “I think it’s a great bargain, personally. We both get pleasured, and you get your scrap of gold back.”

“But to pleasure you into ecstasy… I don’t know if I–!”

“Ah, you’re worried about your experience,” Gilgamesh smiled, “Fair enough. I’m in a good mood, so I’ll lower the price. Make me scream, Kirei. Make me scream so loudly that the neighbors hear us and grow envious of our passion.”

Kirei furrowed his brow. It wasn’t much of a price cut.

“Still, such intimacy, requested so lightly…”

He did consider that this wasn’t their first time, though it must be said that last time both of them had been rather inebriated.

“Intimacy is for hopeless romantics, Kirei,” said Gilgamesh, “Do not delude yourself. We are birds of a feather who enjoy the same pastimes, but do not mistake that camaraderie for romantic love.”

“Then pray tell, why _do_ you insist on having sex with me?” Kirei found himself asking.

Gilgamesh laughed.

“I thought it would have been obvious to you by now,” he said, “You’re my concubine.”

Kirei wasn’t sure whether to be aroused or enraged. A little of column A, a little of column B.

“I see.”

_A concubine who pays the rent, feeds you, gives you a roof over your head, and keeps the wine cabinet stocked… not to mention cleaning up after your messes, and answering the whims of a spoiled brat–!_

“Come onnnnn,” Gilgamesh whined, “My sword gets no sharper waiting for its opponent to draw!”

Kirei sighed as he unfastened his belt.

“You’re paying for the tatami.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

Kirei knew he didn’t intend to pay a single penny. As Gilgamesh pulled him into a passionate kiss, he wasn’t sure he cared.


	3. in medias res

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could be the aftermath of the last chapter, or it could not, since there's no talk of kirei getting his cross back. i'll leave that to the reader to decide lol

Gilgamesh heaved one final, throaty sigh as the fireworks within him died down. He relaxed, letting his back touch the rough tatami mats. He could feel his partner transferring weight to the side, off of him. His heart still raced, breaths heavy, face flushed, but there was only silence now, as though a storm had passed them by. He looked into the priest’s dull eyes and smiled.

“Oh, father, I have _sinned_ ,” he said playfully.

Kirei returned the smile weakly. Gilgamesh would never seriously refer to their activities as sins; the priest knew his partner wasn’t sorry at all. Yet he appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

“I’ll go get a rag to mop all this up…” he said.

Gilgamesh grasped his partner’s sleeve.

“Stay,” he commanded.

“Why?” Kirei was puzzled, “You’re a mess.”

“Stay… please.”

Even more puzzling. In all the time they’d known each other, Kirei had never once heard the King of Heroes say please. He relented, laying back down on his side. They gazed at each other for what seemed like a long time.

“You have a very pleasing face,” said Gilgamesh at length. Kirei snorted.

“I’ve never been told that.”

“Do you then take me for a liar? I meant what I said, Kirei. I do so love to watch your face when we fuck. Your expressions are most entertaining.”

Kirei sighed.

“‘Love is for hopeless romantics’, hm…?”

“Still true,” said Gilgamesh, “Can I not look upon the face of my concubine and find it pleasing?”

Kirei frowned, unamused.

“I’ll go get that rag now.”

“Quickly, before it starts to cake.”

Kirei stood up and left to hide the sudden, uncontrollable flush that had swept across his face. Gilgamesh’s comments had been neither warranted nor deserved, and he sincerely hoped the King of Heroes would fall asleep by the time he returned, towel in hand.


	4. confessional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what actually goes on in confessionals (another shocking episode of Young Jewish Girl Writes About a Priest’s Sex Life)

“Thank you, Father”

“Of course, child. May God’s grace help you in this difficult time.”

Kirei slid the confessional window shut as his most recent visitor took her leave. He sighed as soon as the door clicked-– _five_ people had come to see him that afternoon; he’d had to extend confessional far beyond the regular hours. Thankfully the woman had informed him that she’d been the last in line, and he could finally relax a bit.

A knock sounded on the far side of the closed window. Kirei grimaced, annoyed that he couldn’t leave yet. However, he wasn’t about to turn away a congregation member in need.

“Please enter.”

The door on the other side opened. There was some shuffling as the visitor took their seat.

“Father, I have sinned.”

“My poor child,” Kirei began almost mechanically, “Please-–wait a second.”

The voice had sounded far too familiar. Kirei yanked the shutter back.

“Gilgamesh?!”

The King of Heroes smirked.

“How did you–-what are you doing here!?” Kirei could hardly contain his irritation.

“You weren’t home when I returned, so I only assumed you were still at work,” Gilgamesh shrugged, “When I inquired at the front desk, I was told I’d find you here.”

Gilgamesh sighed longingly, running his fingers along the twists of the iron grate that separated them.

“I do have a confession, ‘Father’,” he said, “I’m a little disappointed. When the lady at the desk told me what these rooms were for, I’d expected they’d be less… restrictive. If I am to confide in someone, I should like to see his face, and track the unconscious movements of his body. I can see when he’s listening to me.”

“You’re just looking for another private, inappropriate place to have sex with me,” Kirei snapped.

“Well, that’s part of it,” said Gilgamesh coyly, “Tell me, how much room have you on your side of this cursed grate?”

“Hardly more than on yours,” Kirei answered.

“A tight fit, to be sure, but we may manage if we stand.”

“No,” said Kirei sternly, “This is a sacred space, I will not have you defiling it.”

“Ah, but doesn’t the forbidden make it seem that much more enticing?” Gilgamesh drawled.

“For crying out–-we’re in a church! Mind yourself, Gilgamesh, and show some due respect!”

“What if we went to the bathroom to do it?” Gilgamesh pouted, “Or does this structure house the Holy Chamber Pot of–?”

“GET OUT.”

Kirei’s shout reverberated in the small room.

“I will have you wherever you please once I’m through here,” he added quietly, “I will have you so thoroughly that you will be left immobile for a week. I will do whatever you ask, if only you leave this instant.”

There was another tense silence.

“I shall try to keep my sword sharp while I await your return,” said Gilgamesh finally. He slunk out of the confessional without another word.


	5. Futons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was inspired by a fanart I saw where they were both under a blanket and all you could see was their hair poking out at the top and there were movement lines and breath clouds so you could totally tell what they were doing under there but it was really cute

Kirei was rudely awakened that night by the sensation of something heavy pressing down on him. His eyes flew open, and he shifted slightly to see if he could make out what was going on.

“You’re awake…” a tired whisper in his ear.

“ _Presently_ , yes,” grumbled Kirei, “Is that you, Gilgamesh?”

“Do we live with anyone else?” the king of heroes nuzzled closer, “You’re remarkably warm for someone with no pulse.”

“And you’re remarkably–” if that’s what he thought had brushed against his leg just now, “–naked.”

“Oh, you knew I sleep naked,” said Gilgamesh.

“Even in the winter?”

“I try.”

“Please don’t tell me you climbed in here because you’re cold.”

Gilgamesh said nothing.

“You brought this upon yourself, you know. Tomorrow you should go out and buy yourself some pajamas.”

Gilgamesh sniffed haughtily.

“I find sleepwear to be frightfully uncomfortable,” he said, “Besides, I have no need of those when I have you and your warm futon.”

“Yes well _some_ of us like sleeping without the weight of another on our chest. There’s room enough here to lay side by side, if you’re truly that cold.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Gilgamesh gyrated his hips just slightly, pressing their nethers together with only the thin veil of Kirei’s boxers between them.

“I’m cold, Kirei,” the king of heroes whined.

“I believe we’ve established that.”

“Wouldn’t you like to help warm me up?”

Kirei craned his neck to look at the clock on the floor nearby.

“It’s two thirty in the morning, Gilgamesh.”

“Ah, perfect, we can make as much noise as we please and no one will be awake to hear it!”

“You don’t know that.”

“If by some miracle someone is awake, let them hear!”

“Do you want this to be a private affair or not?”

“I couldn’t care a whit either way. Besides, we’ve wandered off-subject. All this talk makes me not a jot warmer. However…”

Gilgamesh whispered into Kirei’s ear.

_“My sword yet aches for its familiar dueling partner.”_

Kirei couldn’t help but feel a slight stir at the other’s words. Gilgamesh nibbled his ear impatiently.

“Good heavens, you’re needy,” Kirei remarked.

“Are you so surprised? I’m accustomed to balmy Sumerian winters and concubines who throw themselves at me the minute I feel the need for someone to bed. Of _course_ to you I would seem demanding.”

Kirei scoffed.

“Spoiled brat…”

“I dare you to say that again.”

Gilgamesh tugged at the elastic of Kirei’s boxers, but the priest held his ground.

“It’s exactly what you are. A rotten, spoiled brat.”

“Those are fighting words, Kirei,” said Gilgamesh, “I hope you’re prepared to incur the punishment you’ve earned.”

“Your threats do not intimidate _me_ , King of Heroes.”

Gilgamesh laughed darkly. He pressed his mouth to Kirei’s, tongue slipping between the other man’s lips. Kirei didn’t have the energy to protest, nor did he particularly want to. He succumbed quietly to Gilgamesh’s whims, pulling the other’s face closer as he reciprocated the kiss.

They slept on a very warm futon that night.


	6. on the subject of epics, and libraries

Kirei rarely journeyed to the library. He was busy enough handling Church business, both for the parish he used as a cover and for the faction of Executors that employed him. Even rarer was Gilgamesh showing an interest in books. Kirei never really had seen the man read, other than occasionally flipping through a manga (the King of Heroes had interest in such things?) but he could hardly count those as books.

And now, oddly, Gilgamesh had requested Kirei find him a book at the library.

_Why couldn’t he have gone himself, if he wanted it so badly…?_

Besides, it wasn’t something Kirei would have thought the King of Heroes would find relevant–Gilgamesh had requested _Argonautica_ , an ancient Greek epic. Kirei knew nothing of the epic’s length, nor if Gilgamesh would be able to read it before the due date, but he supposed that if a lengthy book would distract him for a while, it was worth investigating.

Kirei inquired at the front desk as to where the Western epics were shelved–the librarian instructed him to go to the classics section, and Kirei wondered why he hadn’t thought to go straight there in the first place. Classics were kept in the west wing, third floor. Kirei went there quickly, bent on finishing this errand as soon as possible.

He found _Argonautica_ between the _Illiad_ and the _Odyssey_ –odd, as the epics seemed to be grouped chronologically by country, and the latter two far predated the former. Evidently a librarian hadn’t been checking these shelves very thoroughly. Well –Kirei glanced around quickly — it didn’t look like it was a section that was frequented very often. He was utterly alone between the stacks.

Kirei glanced around, trying to see if any of the other books were out of place.  It looked like most of them had been shelved properly, though Kirei was not an expert on the classics and couldn’t say for sure. He could recite bible verses impeccably, but his knowledge of epics terminated in Greece.

Ah, now there was something out of place. A thick tome with aged green binding and gold lettering, sitting innocently between volumes of the Ramayana. _The Epic of Gilgamesh_. Was it a mere coincidence…?

“Very funny,” said Kirei aloud, “Honestly, if you wanted to meet me in the library, you could have said so.”

“Ah, so you did see,” Gilgamesh’s voice sounded, “You’re very clever, Kirei. Moreso than you give yourself credit for.”

Kirei looked up to see Gilgamesh leaning against a sturdy bookshelf ahead of him, holding another copy of his epic under one arm.

“Surely _you_ are the clever one here, coming up with such a trick… but I am not amused by your antics.”

“Oh? I suppose it would take more than just a little reorganizing to amuse you, Kirei,” said Gilgamesh. He brought out the book and opened it, leafing through its dictionary-thin pages, “Have you ever read this? It’s quite a flattering portrayal of my exploits.”

“I have not,” said Kirei bitterly, “I read Greek classics as a schoolboy for their relevance to Western culture, but all other Western epics were ignored.”

“A shame,” said Gilgamesh, “If only you’d read it… There are things here that are remarkably similar to your bible.”

“Is that so?”

“The Garden of Eden, the flood…” said Gilgamesh, “If I hadn’t known better, I would say those stories were actually written about me!”

“What a foolish thought,” said Kirei, “Of course they weren’t written about you.”

“How do you know?”

Kirei faltered slightly; he _didn’t_ know, not for sure, but part of him felt certain that it was a coincidence.

“Well… there isn’t a way to travel back through time…”

“So they _could_ be about me!”

“Not a chance.”

Gilgamesh laughed coyly, snapping the thick tome shut.

“It was a long adventure,” he said distantly, slipping the book back in its place, “My memories of those days are as dusty as these shelves. Of course, compared to this exciting modern age, the past seems rather dull. It’s no wonder this section is so empty of visitors. Who could possibly wish to return to the past?”

“If you have a point to this chatter, please reach it,” said Kirei, “Otherwise, I have some work I should like to return home to finish.”

Gilgamesh flicked his crimson gaze at the priest.

“Libraries are such quiet spaces…” he mused, “I wonder how far your screams would carry?”

Kirei put his palm to his forehead. He supposed he should have seen this coming.

“You have incredibly vulgar tastes, and a remarkable lack of tact,” he said firmly, “If you wish to do such things, I would infinitely prefer the privacy of our flat.”

“And _you_ have no imagination!” Gilgamesh declared.

“For the love of–we are in a _library!_ A public venue! May I remind you that such places demand a certain level of respect?”

“The church I can understand, to some degree,” Gilgamesh pouted, “But here? What, is knowledge sacred to you as well?”

“You are absolutely insufferable.”

“And yet by my side you remain.”

Kirei let out a frustrated groan.

“Please, Gilgamesh, I don’t think you quite understand the implications of what you ask.”

“Oh, I think I do,” said Gilgamesh with a meaning smile.

“The church, at least, was private,” Kirei sighed, “I will give you credit for that much, utterly disrespectful as it was to even _suggest_ performing such acts there. But this–if we were discovered here, we could both be arrested, and who knows what else.”

“Why not wait until everyone has left?”

Kirei reached out and grabbed Gilgamesh by the sleeve.

“We’re leaving.”

The priest turned to leave, pulling on the servant’s shirt, but Gilgamesh held his ground.

“You won’t even kiss me here among the stacks? Our passion could rival that of the heroes sung of in these tomes.”

“Gilgamesh–”

“We can finish the rest at home, if you _prefer_ ,” said Gilgamesh, “But one kiss…”

“Do you _swear_ you will not bother me about this again?”

Gilgamesh nodded, but he crossed his fingers behind his back. For Kirei the motion went unnoticed, and the priest sighed.

“All right. But not one word out of you until we reach home, is that clear?”

Gilgamesh nodded, brows raised in slight exasperation; he had absolutely no intention of making good on his end of the bargain. He would find some other way to corner Kirei in the library, though perhaps not today. The King of Heroes slunk forward to press his body to Kirei’s, arms snaking around the other man’s neck. Kirei held the servant’s gaze boldly.

“Why do you hesitate?” Gilgamesh asked quietly, “Was it not you who wished to leave quickly?”

“I’m waiting for you to stop talking,” Kirei replied.

“If you wish me to stop talking, then _make_ me,” said Gilgamesh, “Otherwise I shall prattle on until–!”

Kirei could take no more of this. He took Gilgamesh’s head firmly in his hands and pressed their lips together.


	7. passionfruit

Kirei didn’t want to believe what he was looking at, but he supposed he didn’t have a choice.

A big red neon sign read “Passionfruit” above the entrance to a tall building, which was decked out entirely in red and pink. Several signs cautioned that IDs would be checked at the door, and that stays longer than one night were prohibited.

“This is… one of _those_ hotels, isn’t it…?”

“Oh, come now,” said Gilgamesh, “With a name like ‘Passionfruit’, is there anything else it could possibly be?”

Kirei wrinkled his nose at the thought; this was a place where young people let their passion run wild, and where others brought prostitutes they’d purchased: a love hotel. The place practically _reeked_ of unadulterated, carnal desire even from across the street. The fact that Kirei was this close to one… his father Risei was probably rolling in his grave.

_Such a sinful place…_

“Why have we come here?” Kirei found himself asking, though he knew why. There could only be one answer to that question.

“I know you are not that naive, Kirei,” said Gilgamesh, “Surely _you_ know what this  facility is for.”

“Yes, I know that,” said Kirei, “I understand for what _purpose_ you have brought me here–but why, when we can do such things in the privacy of our own–?”

“Oh, Kirei,” said Gilgamesh with an arrogant laugh, “You haven’t figured it out? Our flat gets so _boring_ sometimes, not to mention complaints from the neighbors! I like to have a little change of scenery once in a while!”

“Is that so…?”

“Of course, whenever I find a suitable location, _you_ always complain!” Gilgamesh continued, “‘Inappropriate’ this, ‘show some respect’ that… You’re never satisfied! So this time, I chose the one place you cannot _possibly_ deem inappropriate for our lovemaking. How does my logic hold? Can you disagree?”

Kirei looked at the servant incredulously.

“No…” he said, “No I cannot. Your logic is sound. This is, indeed, a very appropriate place for such things…”

“Of course it is!”

“But can we really…?” Kirei began, “We’ve been stretching our budget this month as it is…”

_Well, *I* have. You refuse to contribute for rent or food expenses, as usual._

“I shall pay, if that is your condition,” said Gilgamesh.

Kirei sighed.

“If you’re paying… I suppose there’s no harm in one night away from home. I would have preferred a less, erm, _sinful_ location, but if you insist–!”

“There you go, whining again!” said Gilgamesh. He folded his arms and pouted, “Who cares about what _else_ goes on in this building–none of that is important! Besides, isn’t it true that your Christ dined with prostitutes?”

“Well–!”

“You’re always unbelievably high-strung,” said Gilgamesh, “Tonight, just tonight… won’t you relax a little and enjoy?”

Kirei frowned.

“And you’re always unbelievably–!”

“Come on, let us go in!” said Gilgamesh, “We will of course be staying in the largest room available. A king deserves no less.”

“Fine,” said Kirei with a sigh, “You seem to have done a lot of research about this, so I suppose I should humor you this once.”

Gilgamesh smiled coyly.

“I’ve already picked out all the places I’m going to fuck you,” he said.

“Goody.”

“I mean it, Kirei! There’s the bed of course, but also the couch, and the table, and against the walls, and the floor, and possibly even the bathroom if we squeeze–but perhaps it will be all the more enjoyable that way… which should we try first?”

Gilgamesh started walking toward the entrance, and Kirei sighed again before following. Much as he disliked the idea of supporting the love hotel business, at the very least they wouldn’t have to worry about the cleanup this time. Perhaps he could relax a little, just this once…


	8. marked

Kirei spent a long time in the bathroom that Sunday morning, much longer than usual. He was not concerned about being late to church; on the contrary, that was the least of his concerns. If he was late, would that detract attention from the mark on his neck…? Or would being late only be seen as an excuse for it?

In any case, there wasn’t much he could do. The mark was just below his ear–-his skin tingled at the memory of Gilgamesh’s lips from the previous night-–and his collar wasn’t quite tall enough to cover it. He supposed he could wear a thick scarf, but in the middle of July, a move like that would certainly raise suspicions. Attempts to fluff his hair over it ended in failure; his hair wasn’t long enough either. He realized that a bit of makeup would cover it up, but with the amount of time he’d spent dallying already, a trip to the drugstore was practically out of the question.

_I am going to murder him._

_I am actually going to murder him._

Any other day he could have dealt with the mark in stride, not caring who saw or what happened. Whose business was it but his? But today, Sunday, he had an image to keep up. An image on which his livelihood–and monthly rent payments–depended. Kirei was the face of the church in Fuyuki, and though his flock was small, he simply couldn’t afford being discredited as a pastor. It was hard enough to maintain a congregation in a country that was already distrustful of organized religion.

Kirei finally stepped out of the bathroom with a bandage slapped over the repulsive thing. He’d come into Sunday mass with injuries before; he rarely returned from an Executor mission unscathed, and the congregation would probably just excuse the bandage as another of their clumsy priest’s accidents. He found Gilgamesh lying on his futon in the main room, eyes glued to the television and fingers tapping away at a video game controller.

“First thing in the morning? Really?” Kirei asked bitterly. He had barely the time to eat, and he would have preferred to eat breakfast without the sounds of gunfire in the background.

“What do you care? You’re leaving anyway,” Gilgamesh scoffed, “And aren’t you going to be late?”

“You did this,” Kirei pointed a finger accusingly at the servant, “Last night’s fun and games left a mark the size of–!”

“Oh, you didn’t know that’s what would happen? My, how naive!” Gilgamesh laughed.

“Don’t mock me,” said Kirei, “I knew full well that was what would happen. You don’t remember me insisting that you move further down?”

Gilgamesh shrugged.

“I did that on purpose, you know,” the servant’s lips parted into a smile, “I wanted the world to know just whose concubine you are.”

Kirei turned his head to display the bandage.

“I don’t think so,” he said, “I’m not about to lose my job on account of one night’s passion, Gilgamesh.”

“Oh, your _job_ is at stake?” Gilgamesh’s lips curled, “Is that a _challenge_?”

“No,” said Kirei sternly. He glanced at the clock, “I have to leave. Try not to get us evicted, all right? And take the garbage out.”

“I take orders from no one,” Gilgamesh reminded him, “Take the damn garbage out yourself.”

Kirei didn’t have time for this. He grabbed his small briefcase and strode out the door in a huff. If he ran, he’d be able to make it to church just in time for mass to start.

He prayed that no one would comment on the bandage.


End file.
